Husbands, Love Your Wives...

Today I'm thinking about Paul's exhortation in Ephesians for husbands to love their wives. I've been a husband for seven years, and I'm still learning how to love my wife.

Loving somebody isn't simply about having a certain pleasant feeling concerning that person. Loving somebody primarily is what we do.

What is the standard by which we husbands are to love our wives?

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (NKJV (C)Thomas Nelson Publishers 1982) Eph 5:25

So that is what I am pondering about today. How did Jesus love the church?

Well, He gave Himself for us, dying on the cross to pay for our sins. He did for us what we could not do for ourselves, redeeming us, paying the price we could not pay.

It is clear that Jesus can do things for us that we cannot do for ourselves. Paying for our sins is one of those things. Blessing us in ways we couldn't even imagine. Preparing a place for us in eternity.

Jesus is clearly stronger than and greater than all of us put together. And He does so much for us that only He can do.

We husbands are to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Part of that involves honoring them as a weaker vessel in regards to those areas in which the husband may be stronger than his wife. Doing for her some things that his strength is better suited for handling.

My wife and I are both disabled, but I have more use of my hands, so I'm able to show love to her by helping her with the things my hands are, well, more handy for doing. This goes along with what Peter wrote:

"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7)
(NKJV (c) Thomas Nelson Publishers., 1982

I like how Peter writes about living with our wives with understanding. Yes I am to honor my wife as a weaker vessel, helping her with those things I'm better suited for. But I'm not to do everything for her.

Jesus doesn't do everything for us. He is all powerful so He could do everything, but He doesn't because doing so wouldn't be right.

In Luke 7:36-50 we read about the time when Jesus accepted the invitation to eat at the home of a Pharisee. While He was there a woman who was a sinner came and washed his feet with her tears.

The Pharisee hadn't washed the dust off Jesus' feet. He hadn't even directed somebody else to do it.

Jesus was the one who could walk on water, calm a storm, multiply loaves and fishes, and heal the sick. Jesus could have made the dust on his feet vanish in an instant. But He didn't.

Jesus let the woman wash His feet. He let the woman do what she could do for Him. She could wash his feet. She could kiss his feet.

Peter wrote that we husbands are to deal with our wives with understanding? The Pharisee would have liked to have thrown the woman out of his house because she was a sinner. Jesus, knowing full well that she was a sinner, let her wash His feet. And Jesus did what she needed done. He forgave her.

We husbands need to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Sometimes that means forgiving our wives when they need forgiveness. It may mean doing more than our fair share of working, or praying, or giving, or keeping quiet and listening attentively. Other times loving our wives is letting them do what they are able to do.

We husbands need to remember that we are in need of help in a great many areas of our lives. We need to try to be just as gracious in accepting the help from our wives as Jesus was in accepting the washing of His feet that the woman gave Him.

My wife blesses me so greatly I won't ever be able to thank God enough for her. She is helping me be a better husband, and a more godly man.

I hope I can get better at loving my wife the way Christ loves the church. Let us pray that all of us husbands can become better at loving our wives.